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Are you thinking about getting started or are you already in business with your lover? report 43% of small businesses in America are considered “family owned” and 53% of those are owned by a spouse.
My wife, Jenna, and I have been running Be Courageous, a boutique transformation agency for six years. It may have been a terrible idea for some, but for us it was a ticket to deeper connections and professional freedom.
one love, one business, one life
We realized that work is no longer “work,” especially when starting a company with a life partner. Running a family owned business is more of a lifestyle than a job.
We do not set clear boundaries between work and home. Because what we work in business is also what we work in life. Our mission in life—helping others become their most courageous and gentle selves—aligns with what we do for a living. We hope that the business you’re starting or started with a partner feels more like a personal purpose, too. That feeling helps you get through the days when it feels impossible to get everything done.
RELATED: The Do’s and Don’ts of Involving Family Members in Business
to protect the marriage and Business, please have this conversation
To make your business or marriage run more smoothly, ask yourself these questions: To be honest, now is not the time to say what the other person wants to hear.
- How do we imagine business and family life merging (or not)?
- How do you keep your life balanced between work and love? Work inevitably takes days, so if one of them needs more time for personal connection, how should he/she deal with the other?
- What will happen to our activities on weekdays? I love connecting personally with my wife during work to make sure work isn’t the only thing in life. But some people may have different modes and boundaries while working. There is no right or wrong here as long as expectations are set and agreed upon.
- (Generally) Is it okay to talk about work at the dinner table or on a date? 100% of the time we talk about work. Being alone on a date night away from work and kids is often a rare opportunity to get your partner’s focused attention. Jenna and I will allot a certain amount of time to these scenarios. As soon as I drew the line at the end of our business conversation, Jenna bent over, grabbed my hand, and said, “Hello!” As a wife, not as a business partner. I love this moment.
Then schedule regular contact with your partner (Jenna and I meet weekly). This may sound like overkill, but I assure you it’s not. Family and work change life at a dizzying pace. She doesn’t want a year to go by without contacting her most important person. When a business partner or romantic relationship deteriorates, other aspects of life are affected as well.
With four kids and a business, we can’t afford to waste our time and energy prolonging and escalating our problems. We each ask where we need help. We share our observations and update our working methods as needed. I encourage you to meet on Friday and celebrate the end of the week together.
Related: What You Need to Know to Run a Successful Family Business
6 tips for a successful business and relationship
1. Create a shared calendar and set a schedule all. Days fly by quickly, but it’s helpful to see what’s on your plate. When we feel overwhelmed with work, kids, or other aspects of our lives, we add time to our calendars for love and connection.
Relationship Tips: When you want your partner to connect with you more, saying “I miss you” rather than “I miss you” will put your partner on the defensive.
2. Clarify the hat you are wearing. The different roles we play are like the “hats” we wear. So if you’re cooking dinner together, ask your partner if it’s okay to put on your “work cap” before sharing your latest business idea. Please respect that your opponent may not be in the same mode. If your partner doesn’t feel like changing hats, see tip #1 on scheduling. Embarking on a work idea while your partner is contemplating a candlelit night of romance is like dressing up for Halloween and attending a black-tie event. Read the room and ask questions.
Relationship Tips: One of the tricks Jenna and I use is to say “game on!” As a signal to enter work mode. It’s simple, but just saying this word aloud can transform a romantic relationship into a business partner.
3. Check each other’s day. We know more about each other’s day than the average couple who work for different companies, but sometimes we don’t. how It was a day with each other.
4. Maintain professionalism. We never take our clients for granted and never let our private lives intrude. We act with confidence, clarity, focus and professionalism.
5. Confirm the discussion at the working door. Remember, your partner colleague They are great at their jobs, so create an atmosphere where they can shine.
6. Incorporate at least one connection “anchor” into your day. We always know that we have “ourselves” time when we wake up in the morning and before we go to bed at night. Knowing that you have something to look forward to on a regular basis will keep your relationship on track.
The Biggest Challenge of Running a Company with a Spouse
My biggest challenge in running a company with my spouse is my inability to take constructive criticism personally. The COO and CEO conduct performance reviews with their teams. But when you’re looking across the desk from the one person you want to impress the most and he says, “Please get the expense report to me on time,” take it personally. It’s hard not to. When putting on your professional hat, it helps to not mix in what might feel wrong in your relationship. For example, never say, “You always turn in your expense reports late, but that’s not surprising because you never schedule dates for us.”
Related: How to Effectively Receive Constructive Feedback
Benefits of doing business together
There are many benefits that come from running a business together. I love to put our business in the same hands that I trust my own and my children’s lives with. I love watching my partner shine at work and admiring them.
Jenna and I can often avoid problems that “just co-workers” can have due to a lack of understanding. Our work is not independent of each other, so we are much closer than most couples we know.
Should I start a business with my lover?
Enter into business with a romantic partner only if: TRUE Delve into them as human beings, not just as your love interest. Consider whether to clash or cooperate. Again, don’t do business with your partner if you don’t respect them enough. But if so, I highly recommend it as an extraordinary experience!
