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A study suggests that simply taking a five-second break during an argument could help couples put a stop to the fight right away.
In one study, researchers found that when couples were forced to take a short break from competitive gaming, their negative emotions and aggression subsided.
The study found that couples tended to match each other’s levels of aggression during gameplay, but that a forced break interrupted this pattern of retaliation, resulting in less aggression. The findings were published August 7 in the journal Nature. Communication Psychology.
Anna McCully, a doctoral student in the School of Psychology and Neuroscience at the University of St. Andrews in Scotland and lead author of the paper, said in a press release that the findings are easily applicable to everyday situations.
“This is a simple, free, and effective ‘hack’ for reducing negative emotions during an argument,” McCurry says. “It’s cheaper than couples therapy.”
McCurry, who has worked on the frontline with survivors of domestic violence, stressed to Business Insider that this approach only applies to everyday, low-risk conflicts that have the potential to escalate, like forgetting to take out the trash, rather than abusive situations.
Taking a break seemed to reduce participants’ aggression.
In the study, 81 couples were asked to play 30 rounds of a game in which their partner was challenged to play annoying sounds at a volume of their choosing.
The participants, mostly undergraduates who had spent an average of eight months together, wore headphones and stood facing each other in front of a monitor, a keyboard, and a red button.
Participants were instructed to press the red button as quickly as possible when the word “GO!!” appeared on the monitor. The first person to press the button won and was instructed to select a “blast level” to play for their partner. This instruction was either presented immediately or delayed by a mandatory interruption of 5, 10, or 15 seconds.
Once the winner selected a sound level, that sound was played in the loser’s headphones for two seconds and the next round began immediately.
During the experiment, participants’ facial expressions were captured by a 360-degree camera and their emotional responses were analyzed using advanced AI and machine learning, which allowed researchers to avoid having participants self-report (which is often inaccurate) how they felt in the moment, the study said.
In rounds where the prompt to choose the blast volume was delayed, participants chose a lower volume for their partner than they would have if there was no break, suggesting that the break reduced aggression, McCurry said.
The researchers also found that a five-second break was just as effective at reducing negative emotions as a 10- or 15-second break. “This suggests that even short pauses can help defuse an argument,” McCurry said.
Couples were heavily influenced by each other’s emotions
This study supports the idea that we are heavily influenced by our partner’s feelings.
“When neither partner displayed much negative emotion, outburst levels were generally low. In contrast, when either the winner or loser displayed little negative emotion, aggression increased significantly, reflecting a clear shift toward more aggressive outbursts,” the study said.
The authors acknowledge that their study has limitations. Most of the participants were university students, so the findings may not apply to people in long-term relationships. And because it would be unethical to induce a real argument between couples, the researchers could only measure aggression and negative emotions through competition, meaning they can’t know whether taking a break reduces aggression in other situations.
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