A Hollywood Speech Coach Reveals How to Get What You Want

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If you’re like most people, the sound of your voice is probably disgusted you More than once.

It’s easy to be overly critical of ourselves, especially when we’re at high risk — our voices can be quite tense in situations, even when we’re giving a persuasive speech in front of a large audience. It’s the tool you use to get what you want. Trying to nail a one-on-one job interview.

It doesn’t help if you’re socially conditioned to respect certain voices. Consider the deep gravity of President John F. Kennedy and other reputable speakers.It may be unfortunate, but in reality teeth The relationship between how we sound and how we are perceived, especially women’s voices, has often been dismissed or criticized altogether.

Hollywood speech coach Samara Bay understands this dynamic well.

Bay’s fascination with the power of her voice began when she was just a 7-year-old “musical theater kid” when Eliza Doolittle realized that changing the way she heard would broaden her horizons. . dear womanWhen she was a graduate student in acting at Brown University, she went even deeper and realized that she had developed painful vocal nodules from unconscious manipulation of her voice.

Bay has served as a dialect coach for some of Hollywood’s most notable names, turning Gal Gadot into Wonder Woman and Rachel McAdams into Barbara Simon. are you god That’s me, Margaret. She will also discover a new mission that really “aligns” with her purpose ahead of the 2018 midterm elections. It’s about enabling Blue Women candidates to harness the power of their voices during this critical time.

Today, in addition to continuing to work on Hollywood sets, Bay has served as a judge on pitch competitions and mentored business and political luminaries and leaders to deliver credibility and power when it matters most. I try to hold it to talk.She is also the author of a newly published book Permission to speak: how to change what power sounds like, starting with youwhich explains in detail how to do it.

Image Credit: Courtesy of The New Fashioned Co.

“There’s a huge wave of stories we’re all fighting over who the masses were made for,” Bay says. entrepreneur“And whoever speaks in it is meant to sound like that. That’s where the spirit of permission comes in. Growing up in that culture.”

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“Sometimes the upspeak and vocal fly tools that we have come in handy for us and continue to serve us in certain ways.”

It can be traced back more than 2,000 years to ancient Greece where women weren’t allowed to speak. Bey points out that women weren’t even allowed to set foot on stage. However, its history is not as far off as it seems. For example, Bay think of women in 20th century New York City. I seldom leave the house without a male companion — and virtually unable to speak their minds.

“It’s so fresh for many of us,” Bay says. .”

That’s why Bay says women who speak freely and honestly in public are “radicalized just for the act of doing it” — though it’s 2023.

But the act is often accompanied by tension. Women are told they need to stop speaking in certain ways. Vocal fly, or lower register with rattling or popping, and upspeak (high register intonation that mimics the pitch of the question) are considered undesirable and are a sure way to be ‘not taken seriously’.

Never mind that men can fall into these patterns too.

That’s one side of the coin, Bay explains. other? People say that policing women’s voices is “anti-feminist.”

But it’s not that simple, Bay says. The truth lies somewhere in the middle.

“Our whole lived experience lies in the gray area between these extremes,” Bay explains. “So the upspeak and vocal fly ‘tools’ that we’ve picked up have served us, and they’ve served us in certain ways to seem less intimidating.” [or] We keep our distance so that we don’t seem overly enthusiastic. [being] blasé will help us on the other side. ”

The key is “owning these habits and deciding when to use them,” Bay says.

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“Everyone knows this feeling, and everyone thinks they’re alone.”

To give yourself permission to speak powerfully and honestly, you need to change your mindset.

To help her clients overcome that mental hurdle, Bey encourages them to think about voices they respect. please do not It reflects the traditional masculine sound we expect.

Also, how your voice is perceived is not due to the innate qualities of your voice itself, but to how you feel and how it is reflected in your voice. It is also helpful to remember that there is a gender.

Consider this: Women tend to have shorter vocal cords (hence their higher pitch), and When adrenaline hits the cords, it raises the male voice, tightening the cords and making the voice higher, Bay explains. Hmm – certainly not an easy fix, but an important starting point.

It’s also important to know exactly what you want in any situation. You should adjust your voice accordingly.Sometimes, instead of appearing as our authentic selves in our voice, the goal is to teeth To play the game, Bay said:

Also, sometimes I make full use of the power of my voice teeth purpose itself.

“When you get bored [playing the game]I want to try something new, I want to stop hating my job, I want this new job, but I want to do it on my own terms without negotiating a part of my identity that is important to me. If you want to put it in, yes. , now that’s another desire,” Bay says.

And remember, you’re probably not the only one who feels uncomfortable with your voice. I feel like [it] “Everyone knows this feeling, everyone thinks they’re lonely,” Bay says.

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“It’s not that your voice is different.

If mindset shifts are part of the equation, the technical side—the physical process of the voice itself—is just as important.

“Voices are like every other instrument we can think of,” Bay explains. “Tone, pitch, volume, tempo or pace he can talk about them in terms of four dynamics. And all four of these contain both exercises and big ideas within each. increase.”

When Hillary Clinton fought Donald Trump, she was called a “screech,” a high-pitched chord. That’s why some women lower their voices to gain more respect.

One recently published example is Theranos founder Elizabeth Holmes. His deeper voice “frankly worked until it stopped working,” she says Bay.

But, of course, the solution is not to artificially lower the voices of women so that they are taken seriously. [that] It makes me feel uncomfortable and hurts me physically,” says Bey, citing her experience as a graduate student.

Bay’s book is full of exercises to help you rediscover your true voice and harness its power, but aside from the technical drills, the voice can be physically adapted to specific conditions and situations. It’s worth just thinking about changing to

Think about the sound after getting a massage or finishing a yoga class, Bay suggests. “It’s not that your voice is different,” she says. “You are the one without tension.”

Because there is more than one real voice.

“It’s just that we have different sides of ourselves,” Bay explains. “And my goal is the best betting moment for my clients and my readers. [during a] presentations and pitches, [when it] If they feel like their best ideas are floating around, they emerge as more relaxed versions, wanting to be as weird and wonderful as they are. ”

So the next time you face a dangerous situation, find yourself in a state of mind where you can fully express yourself, and rest assured that most others are trying to do the same.

“When you go into that scary space and try to give yourself permission to appear as a new version of yourself, part of the answer is to turn left and turn right before you enter that space,” Bey says. “To have friends, to know that there is solidarity in this pursuit, to be able to feel their hands on your back when you are alone with someone who seems intimidating. , maybe I can introduce you to a version of yourself you didn’t know before.