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For the past 20 years, I’ve always set the same two alarms every weekday: one for 5:15am and one for 9:17am.
As a high school teacher in Texas, my 5:15am alarm is merely a formality. After 20 years of being an early riser, I’ve gotten used to waking up before sunrise without any prompting. My 9:17am alarm is also ingrained. It’s the official attendance time when class must stop and attendance is taken. It’s the official “time of record” in the state of Texas so schools can get funding based on daily attendance.
This is the schedule I’ve stuck to for 20 years, but after this week, neither time will matter. I’m 59 years old and retiring early from teaching, and I’m feeling a bit anxious.
My income will be cut in half
I have some concerns. My income will decrease and I will have to live a “simple life.” When I get my pension, my income will be less than half of what it was before. My expenses will decrease, but not by 50%.
In addition to my high school job, I’ve been teaching part-time remotely at a local community college for the past year, but due to pension regulations I will be taking a break this fall semester. I’ve had to apply for years to secure a part-time position, and I’m worried that if I’m forced to take the busiest semester off, I’ll find myself at the back of the part-time teaching line again. The hourly rate isn’t great, about $50, but I’m sure if I take a few classes it will make up the difference in income.
I’m worried that I won’t be making enough, so I decide to take a remote writing job with no benefits, no structure or routine – I’ll be doing something I care deeply about, but it will still be less than what I made this year.
I don’t know how to spend my time
For 20 years, the 200+ teachers in my school building have been my daily source of adult interaction. We have had lunch together, shared the ups and downs of their lives. They have discussed and offered their opinions on my classroom dilemmas and personal predicaments. Where will the new voice of reason come from?
Although I feel uneasy about socializing only with my spouse, I have big plans: I have applied to join the community committee, which meets monthly to review permits for home renovations, paint colors, and landscaping.
Two mahjong sets have been gathering dust in a closet for decades, and I’ve found a beginners group that meets twice a month that I’m excited to join, hoping to keep mahjong from spinning cobwebs in the corners of my brain and to create a new group of friends.
Plus, it was easy to put off even the most formal exercise with the excuse, “I don’t have time.” What would my new exercise plan be, now that I was retired and had more time? For 20 years, climbing the stairs at school was my only exercise. I always knew I needed weight resistance training to prevent osteoporosis, but now was the time to pick up a dumbbell.
Without my job I don’t know who I am
Finally, for the past 20 years, I have proudly answered anyone who asked me what I do for a living: “I’m a high school teacher.” What’s the next answer? I have yet to find an answer that satisfies me.
I am not yet ready to say, “I’m retired.” For me, the word has too many negative connotations. After more than 30 years, I finally understand why my ex-mother-in-law did not embrace her new position as a “grandmother.” Titles carry weight, and I am not ready to shoulder the title of “retired.”