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My father owned a variety of businesses. We grew up in Maryland, and he owned a mini-mart in downtown Baltimore. In the 1990s, there were a lot of Koreans who owned liquor stores and mini-marts. When my father talks about that business, he says it was a good time when they made a lot of money.
My dad worked every day, Sunday through Saturday, with only weekends off when we went to Ocean City in the summer for family vacations. He also worked all his holidays.
My father worked a lot, so I don’t have many memories from my childhood. But I do remember that every night after work, he would go into his room, take out all the money he’d earned that day, and count it all out before dinner. I thought, “Wow, my dad has a lot of money.”
Ryu and his father as a child. Courtesy of Grace Liu
My mother told me that my father worked hard to take care of all of us in the family, including my grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. Of course, I didn’t realize then what a burden that was — I was only six years old — but I knew that whatever my father did was very important.
My father ran many businesses.
In 2001, when I was 9 years old, my father moved us from Baltimore to California in search of better business opportunities, but it was harder than it had been in Maryland. He ran a dry cleaners for a few years, but it was harder than running a mini-mart; there was more work but less money.
My dad eventually ran a small deli with the help of my brother, and he continued to do so with my mom for 16 years, with my dad cooking on the grill and making the hot food, and my mom taking customer orders and packing the food.
Their lease was coming to an end shortly after the COVID-19 pandemic peaked in 2021. They had two options: Renew their lease for another five years or sell the business and find something else to do.
My parents chose to sell because I was pregnant and wanted to be closer to our future grandchildren.
I became a guarantor for my father at work.
My dad said he wanted to continue working after selling the rental interests – he just wasn’t ready to retire, mainly for financial reasons.
My dad had talked about working in a dental lab with his cousin or driving seniors around, but those jobs would have required him to learn an entirely new skill set or get some kind of license. He’d been in the food industry for the past 16 years, and although he was quick-witted for a 60-year-old, I didn’t think a big career change was the right choice for him.
It occurred to me then that maybe my father could work in the hospital kitchen where I work. I approached the hospital food service manager and asked if they could give my father a job in the kitchen. I vouched for him and explained to the manager the various skills my father had acquired by owning all his own business.
Whatever I said worked. My dad got the job. He had a formal Zoom interview, and I was there to help translate. We were ecstatic. The job came with benefits, so for the first time, my dad was able to get health insurance through his employer and join a 401(k) plan.
At first, it was hard to help my father with his work.
We were thrilled that my dad got the job, but the onboarding process was arduous. My dad had only a beginner’s level of English reading comprehension, even though he had lived in the US for 36 years. This was mainly because my mother handled most of the administrative aspects of the business. She spoke to customers, vendors, and inspectors, while my dad stayed in the background, cleaning and doing whatever she asked him to do.
Liu’s mom and dad stand outside a deli in California. Courtesy of Grace Liu
I knew hospitals and how they worked so well that I felt at ease knowing I was there to help him if he had any questions. I thought it would be okay to help him navigate the hospital system, but it was hard to be the middleman between him and other people.
While the language barrier was an issue, another challenge was his unfamiliarity with modern technology — he’s never owned or used a computer in his life, and even using a smartphone is a struggle.
Since it was all online, I had to fill out all of his onboarding paperwork, and I couldn’t assign him to simple tasks like taking patient orders, clerical work, etc. He was assigned to the kitchen, where he plated food on patient trays during meal times and washed dishes.
He wanted to quit after a few days.
Working at the hospital was the first time my father had a boss other than himself, so he may have felt looked down upon because of it. Many traditional Korean men take pride in owning their own businesses and making a lot of money.
The first few days of the job were the toughest for my father. It was so tough that he wanted to quit. The language barrier, the cultural differences, his ignorance of technology, everything was too much for him to handle.
I never pressured him to stay because I knew the job would be hard for him, and I told him I would support him if he decided to leave, but I wanted him to stay so we would be in the same building and I could help him with any issues that came up.
It took him two months to get used to the job, but now he really loves it. In fact, he loves his job so much that he even works overtime. He learned more English, so he can now express his concerns and ask questions to his boss. Also, he has introduced me to his colleagues and is always so excited to introduce me to them.
I love working with my dad
I loved visiting my dad in the kitchen when I had the same shift as him. One day, I turned around on my way home and saw him washing dishes and I wanted to cry. He was soaking wet and it broke my heart to see him doing such a hard, thankless job. The only time I knew he was okay was when I saw him at work. He was always so enthusiastic, happy and smiling.
I’ve watched him work for 30 years and his attitude and work ethic has never changed. He never complains, whether it’s managing grocery stock, ironing in 100 degree heat, or cooking a large order of 100 breakfast burritos at 4am. He taught me to do everything with joy, especially at work.
Ryu and his father are taking a selfie. Courtesy of Grace Liu
I love having downtime with my dad. We sit in the cafeteria and talk about how things are going, what he wants me to do, what we’re planning for family dinner, etc. Ever since he started working with me, I’ve documented our time together. I’ve always wanted to be able to film him at work.
People at the hospital probably think I’m crazy for taking selfies with my dad and filming myself saying hello to him, but honestly, I don’t care because I’m so proud of him. He’s my role model and the hardest working, happiest person I know. I love working with him.
Grace Liu is a Registered Nurse and studying to become a Family Nurse Practitioner. She is also a wife and new mother who loves spending her free time with her family.
If you work with parents or children and would like to share your story, email Manseen Logan at mlogan@businessinsider.com.